Dear Professor Blackstone,
I am writing this letter to formally introduce myself. I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in civil engineering with business. Civil engineering made me realize the beauty of all the amazing structures we have in the world. Therefore, I went on to pursue a degree in civil engineering in Singapore Institute of Technology to broaden my knowledge about it.
The reason why I chose to continue my studies in the same field is that it deals with everything under the sun. At the start, I went into the diploma course with little to no knowledge of what civil engineering is all about. It was the very first group project that sparked the interest I have for the course. The first group project that I had was to build the tallest structure using medium density fiberboard. I was so amazed by the fact that we were about to construct such a tall structure with just wood and glue. The more I dive into the course, the more I got drawn into the beauty of the structures on earth. It made me realize how important civil engineers are.
My weakness in communication would be writing. I have difficulties translating my thoughts into words on paper. This issue has caused me to do badly for my reports and letters. However, I am proficient in communicating with different people. I have sharpened this skill when I was serving the National Service. I was able to communicate with people from different areas and ranks. This has taught me how to speak to them in the appropriate tones and manner.
I hope to improve my writing skills and to be able to present confidently. As these are the skills which most young adults lack due to the improvement of technology. Improving there two skill will give me a cutting edge in many industries as I am able to clearly get my message across to other people.
I look forward to attending the upcoming lessons.
Best regards,
Gordon
Revised: 25/01/2018
Read and Commented: HuanChoon, ShuMin, WeiMing, Shih Chieh, Haziq, Roland
Dear Gordon,
ReplyDeleteThank you for the detailed letter. I appreciate learning how you developed an interest in civili engineering. You also do a good job explaining your goals for the module and your sense of where your comm skills are at present. Let's work on the areas that you feel you need to improve.
Here are a few areas of language use to take note of:
1) verb tense issue
-- This issue had caused me ... >>> (when simply reporting a past event, you can use the simple past.)
-- This is a skill which I had sharpen ... >>> (tense and word form issues)
-- ...this had taught me how ... >>>
2) run on sentence
-- I was able to communicate with people from different areas and ranks, this had taught me how to speak to them in the appropriate tones and manner. >>> ?
3) plurality
-- most young adult >>>
4) sentence structure
-- By having this two skills improved, it would give me the cutting edge in many industries. >>> Improving these two skills will give me a cutting edge in many industries. (Explain how?)
Thanks once again for your effort here and your enthusiasm in class.
Best wishes,
Brad
Dear Brad,
DeleteThank you for your comments on my blog post. I will make changes as soon as possible.
Thanks for making the class enjoyable and creating an environment for us to improve on our communication's skill.
Best regards,
Gordon
Thank you, Gordon, for your enthusaistic participation!
DeleteHi Gordon
ReplyDeleteYou have elaborated well on your interest in your current field of study, and your descriptive writing suggests that you are genuinely passionate about civil engineering.
It would be better to explain which aspect of report and letter, that you did badly, such as 'This issue caused me to do badly for my report and letter writing' instead of simply '..do badly for my reports and letters.'
Take note 'This is a skill which I had sharpen when I was in the National Service'; preferably, use 'serve' or 'serving' National Service instead of 'in'.
Good effort Gordon! Let's help each other, and improve our writing skills.
Regards
Shih Chieh
Dear Shih Chieh,
DeleteThank you for taking your precious time out to give me comments on my blog!
I will take note of the issue and change it!
Best regards,
Gordon
Hi Gordon, no issue. I hope you will find my suggestions useful.
DeleteHi Gordon! It is interesting to see how your poly project spark your interest in civil engineering. I also have difficulties in translating my thoughts into words on paper. Let’s work together to improve on it!
ReplyDeleteIn the first paragraph, “It is through civil engineering that made me realize the beauty of all the amazing structures we have in the world.” Maybe it could be “civil engineering made me realise the beauty of all….”
In the first paragraph, “So, I went on to pursue a degree in civil engineering in Singapore Institute of Technology to broaden my knowledge about it.” Can use ‘therefore’ instead of ‘so’.
In the second last paragraph, “I was able to communicate with people from different areas and ranks, this had taught me how to speak to them in the appropriate tones and manner.” I think you can split this into 2 sentences
Besides some of the minor mistakes, I think it is a well written self introduction letter and I hope you will get to express yourself better after this course!
Dear WeiMing,
DeleteThank you for your comments! I will look into the minor mistakes and make the necessary changes to it as soon as possible.
Thanks once again for your precious time to give me the appropriate advice that I have to change in my blog!
Best regards,
Gordon
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHey Gordon!
ReplyDeleteConcise letter and your path to civil engineering is very unique. There is a minor point that I would like to highlight:
-Sentence Structure
The first group project that I had was to build the tallest structure using medium density fiberboard. I was so amazed by the fact that we were about to construct such a tall structure with just wood and glue.
-->For my very first group project, I was tasked to build the tallest structure with medium density fibre board. What amazes me most is that the whole structure is constructed with just wood and glue.
Overall it's good! Let's work hard towards our goals for this trimester.
Best wishes,
Shumin
Dear Shumin,
DeleteThank you for taking your precious time out to read my letter.
I will take note of the minor point that you have highlighted and make the necessary changes.
Best regards,
Gordon
Hi Gordon,
ReplyDeleteAppreciate your effort in writing this clear and concise introduction letter. I hope that through this module you will gain more confidence in public speaking and improvement on your writing skills.
It is an interesting post to read. However, I thought that punctuation can be use more often as I find some of the sentences a little too long.
Thank you for sharing your weakness. Re-orientating your jumbles thoughts into words is tough. Nontheless, with hard work and sheer determination, I believe that you will learn the ability of delivering thoughts for they become words.
Cheers,
Roland
Dear Roland,
DeleteThank you for taking your precious time out to give me your thoughts on what I should change for my letter.
I will make the necessary amendments as soon as possible.
Best regards,
Gordon