Wednesday 14 February 2018

Interpersonal Conflict

This was a conflict that had happened 2 years ago in the year of 2015 between my family and I. At that period of time, there was only one computer at home and we had to co-share the computer. We were arguing over who should be using the computer.  At that moment, I was rather unhappy with my brother as he had been using the computer consecutively for 3 days in a row. Yet, he is still unwilling to let me use it for just awhile to rush finish an important document that I had to submit over the weekends. My parents heard our heated argument from their room and rush over to our room to check out what was happening. However, they reprimanded me as for bullying my brother by asking him to get off the computer without knowing the real story behind it and told me that I as the older brother should not argue with my brother and to let him use it. I felt unfairly treated and raised my voice at my parents and told them that I have something important to do and I urgently need to use the computer. After hearing my point, my parents told my brother to let me use it as it was something urgent.

After reflecting on my actions, I felt bad about raising my voice at my parents. This was due to me being unable to control my emotions and letting it take control of me. It left a bad taste in my mouth.

What do you guys think I could have done better?

Read and Commented : HuanChoon, WeiMing, Haziq and Glen

11 comments:

  1. Hey gordon!

    As an older brother myself i fully understand what you went through. To me, being an older brother means having to sacrifice our needs for our younger siblings. The feeling of unfairness is really something we cannot change.

    However, i do feel raising your voice to your parents was unnecessary. What you could have done is probably calm yourself down and explain to them nicely. But then again, when anger takes over, there is only so much we could do. This was really well written Gordon. Keep it up!

    Cheers
    Ziq

    P.s I would recommend using "finalise" as to "Rush finish".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Haziq,

      Thank you for taking your precious time out to read my post. I appreciates your suggestion and would keep that in mind.
      I would make the necessary amendments.

      Cheers,
      Gordon

      Delete
  2. Thanks for sharing this family scenario, Gordon. It is clear and concise, though not always accurate (consistent) in verb tense usage.

    I look forward to reading the various informed suggestions for a resolution of the issue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Brad,

      Thank you for your time to read my post.
      I would make sure I make the necessary verb tense changes as soon as possible.

      Cheers,
      Gordon

      Delete
  3. Hi Gordon,

    From the post, I can feel the tension between you and your brother. I have similar experience with siblings as we had to share certain stuff together.

    I think you could have calm down first before answering to your parents point. This way, the conflict would not have happened and your parents would understand the issue on the spot.

    You are definitely getting better in controlling your emotions now and you definitely can avoid such conflicts in the family again.

    Regards,
    Wei Ming

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Wei Ming,
      Thanks a lot for your suggestion.
      I appreciate your solution and would try to keep that in mind that I need to control my emotions.

      Cheers,
      Gordon

      Delete
  4. Hi Gordon,

    Thank you for sharing this family scenario. I can feel the tension and the frustration you felt as I have a younger brother myself. We use to have sibling's quarrel quite often in the past, but all of these are just part of growing up. These are the fights that will mature you in the long run and make you a better older brother. In any fights, I always believe you should have some time alone after the fight and try to initiate a chat after to sort out the issue. However, it is wrong for you to scold your mother and father.

    I hope things have been better for you.

    Cheers,
    Huan Choon

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Huan Choon,
      Thank you very much for the comment that you had given me.
      I will change my ways in handling such incidents.

      Cheers,
      Gordon

      Delete
  5. Hi Gordon,

    Conflict between family members is unavoidable as we spend much more time with our family members.

    If I were in your shoes, I would have taken more time to explain to my brother the importance of the document. After my explanation, if he is still unwilling to let me use the computer, I will then tell my parents and see what they can do. I believe this method will reduce all the unpleasant tension that might surface.

    I hope you will find my feedback useful.

    Best wishes,
    Shumin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Shumin,

      Thank you for your valuable comment.
      I will take your advice and use it the next time if such problem arise.

      Cheers,
      Gordon

      Delete
  6. Hi Gordon,

    Every family has its conflict. i believe this could happen in any family as well. I feel that raising your voice to your parents is unnecessary, but i understand that it happens from time to time should the message not be conveyed accurately. If i were in your shoes, I would let your brother know the urgency of you using the computer to finish up your work, that could reduce unnecessary tension between both of you.

    Colin

    ReplyDelete

Personal statement

Gordon Ho Gordon is an undergraduate in Singapore Institute Of Technology (SIT) and had four years of civil engineering experience. He pre...